Last night I had the most amazing meditation! It was clear that I was going to have a great meditation, all day long on 11-10-11, I knew that I was going to have a great experience, but instead I had an awesome experience. I was so looking forward to sitting down in my meditation, it was like it would be my first time meditating.
I came back from giving a final exam, and I told my husband that I would be starting my meditation soon. I had planned on meditating to usher in the change from 11-10-11 to 11-11-11 so I began my meditation at 9:00 pm. My husband said he would join me within 30 min. so that he could catch the change also. I settled in and I noticed that my mind was racing forward and I began to feel an anxiety wash over my body. It was as though I wanted to get past all of these human feelings to get to the good part. Similar to getting to the meat of everything, cut to the chase.
Well as many of you know, I have had two near death experiences, one came at the age of 18 in the waters of San Felipe, and the other was in the hospital room when the nurses and the doctors were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, because my blood pressure kept falling and they could not stabilize it, and I was falling deeply into the warmth of a light that was beckoning me to follow. Both of these times I was extremely angry when I was resuscitated, or brought back to my physical existence. That anger stayed with me for days after the events. Tonight was to be very close to that.
I began to finally calm down my body and my mind and I could feel them coming into a synchronized state, I took a very deep breath and I was in. I am not sure how long I was in meditation, according to my husband it was too long for his comfort. I began to see that I was becoming smaller, or at least my body was becoming smaller and then I was beginning to float. I felt that I was floating very freely, I could hear the echoes of my mind and the words that were sounding were, I am ascending, I am ready to ascend, I am ready to ascend, I am moving in to the light, I am ready. I kept hearing myself say those words over and over again, and as I did I was watching my small body floating in a vast ocean of darkness and stars and I was attached to my real human body by an umbilical chord. I could literally see my self floating away on one end of this chord that was attached to my life sized body.
I felt free.
My husband tells me that he came into the meditation circle and sat down to mediate for about 20 to 30 minutes, I have absolutely no recollection of him doing so. He says he got up and began to worry, he said he felt in his gut that I was going away. Now mind you my husband is not a feeling man he is a braniac. I began to see this beautiful white light and I felt its warmth and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to it. I was in a state of bliss. I did not even realize at that point that I was still a human, I felt as thought my place was in the light and I felt as I was part of this light, I could feel myself going higher and higher and I heard a mans voice then say let go, and follow the light. I was beginning to let go and follow the light and I knew that I was going higher and higher and I felt more free and expansive. It was at this point that my husband says he came into the circle to check on me a few times and he was getting extremely concerned that I was not coming back, so he says, I knew I had to do something to bring you back. I however was in bliss, then all of a sudden I felt and deep push and It was a snap sound and I looked and the umbilical chord had snapped and I was floating in a sea of stars, I became aware that I was in the Andromeda constellation. It was so cool!
Then as quick as that happened, I felt a tug at my heart and I became aware that I was falling and I was falling hard, and then I realized that I was a physical being and that my eyes were looking through my eyelids at a physical light, I became very angry! I opened my eyes and I noticed that my husband had turned on the light in the hall that had caused my physical body to react. I took a deep breath and realized that was it I was done. I was so angry, but yet at the same time I was extremely aware that I was angry and I told myself see how you react, know that you must act not react. I got up and I walked to our bedroom and I asked my husband ” why did you turn on the light? he said ” I am sorry honey, but I was so scared that you were not coming back, I got worried. I could see that you were not inside your body by the sounds you were making and the look you had on your face. I got into bed and I could feel the anger still inside me but I was not reacting, I was just aware. I teach that awareness is the first step in healing, so I was healing my mind and realized it was not my time to leave.
Once again, I was to remain here in this physical body in this physical world. I am blessed! I had the most awesome meditation experience!
Namaste,