Take control of your health!

Today, is a special day.  April 30th, 1983  — someone whom I loved dearly was taken from me in a very dramatic and horrific manner.   I was teaching yoga to 4 year olds, at the local gym and I got an emergency call from an unknown detective.   Then I looked up and the television was on the news channel, all of a sudden, I was whisked away by the manager as he covered my eyes, and said don’t watch come with me as he took me to the back room to call home.   I called home and I spoke with my father, he said “come home immediately!”   I called my husband and told him to meet me at my parents home.   When I arrived It was the most solemn scene I could imagine. It was out of the twilight zone.  There were 3 black town cars parked outside my parents home and about 4 men in black suits standing around the entrance of the house.  I walked inside, as I did I heard the horrible wails and crying of my mother and my aunt.  I looked up and my father was also in tears.   What happened? What in the world happened to hurt everyone so much?  All I kept thinking was “Dear God what do I do? I walked into the living room and a detective identified himself, I asked what was going on.  He said “I am sorry to tell you this, but your grandmother and her husband were shot to death in the early morning hours, with sawed off shot gun, while they were sleeping so I don’t think they felt any pain.”  We need someone to identify the remains at the home and we think it should be you, because your mom and your aunt don’t seem to have the strength to do this.   Within 2 seconds my world came crashing down on me!   WHO? WHAT? WHEN?  I felt my legs go weak underneath me, I inhaled the biggest breath as I gasped and keeled over, I thought I was going to be sick! It felt as though someone had knocked the wind out of me. I began to sweat. My ears were ringing.   I cannot remember if I was crying or not……… … the details only got worse…………….. I only know that an angel was with me, because I felt a wave of love and strength come over me.  My angel was there to help me, I felt this, I know this.        It is now my angel who tells me it’s time to tell YOU!   It is time to let go and heal.   It has been a long time but it is time to heal.     To YOU who took away the life of my grama whom I loved so dearly I forgive you, to YOU whom I hated so much, to YOU who I wished  would die, to YOU whom, I spent many nights wishing your life become the worst hell!!  To YOU whom I would say your name and spit on the ground and smash it with all my might.  To YOU whom I prayed would burn in hell for what you did.  To YOU whom I wished someone would cut your throat!  To YOU whom I would spend my days thinking about ways to hurt or even kill you!

I FORGIVE YOU, FOR YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DID!  Thank you, for making me a much stronger, trusting, loving and compassionate person.  May you find peace within the echoes of your mind, rest assured that I will bless you in my prayers.  For today on this the anniversary  (April 30, 2010) of this tragic and torrid event I forgive and I heal.    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to value and be grateful for all  have and all that I am.  Thank you for allowing me to have the beauty of the angel whom I am sure was my grama who was with me that day!  For all those ugly things I wished on  you, I am sorry please forgive ME, thank you and I love you!

I am at peace, I am whole, I am blessed! I am forgiven! I am healed!

Blessings and light for the rest of your path here on earth.

Namaste,

I am making an all call to all of you especially all my yoga students– Help me send Reiki healing energy to Haiti.  This Sunday Jan. 24th at 4PM pst– Join me in a simple meditation for 15 min– Myself and a group of Reiki Masters-
Here is the meditation prayer:    May all those who were adversely affected by the earthquake in Haiti be deeply healed and guided to the resources and help they need. May all those providing aid including food, water, medical care and shelter and those involved in rebuilding the infrastructure be filled with the love, strength, perseverance and organizational skills needed to fulfill their purpose.
Please lets set aside ourselves our egos and please please join me to help these beautiful folks heal!

Please sit in a quiet place, begin by closing your eyes and feeling love inside your heart.  Once you are in that space begin your prayer.  You will help me in sending love and healing to a place that need it most right now.

Namaste,
Marti Angel

Today is a healing day.  As a Reiki master level three with more than 3 certification from three different schools of Reiki, I have come to be able not only to feel energy, but to see energy.  This seeing is something I  was born with.  As a child I remember thinking that I was posessed and that I was a devil child.  Why could I seem to do things with my mind that other kids did not.  I remember wishing bad things on a person and with my eyes fixed on the person, I would bring the feelings of hurt, destruction and terror to my mind and heart.  I would stare at the person with the coldest thoughts and simultaneously thinking the words ” Harm, Hate, Anger and Revenge. My body would begin to heat up and then all of a sudden I would hear the person who was the object of this energy, scream stop it, stop it!  Those words would break my concentration and before I knew it I was in total shock by the tears and fear I saw in that persons eyes.  I would ask “What happened?” not conciously knowing the harm I was causing or that I was the one causing this harm with my thoughts, emotions and feelings.  Then all of a sudden I would get this overwhelming feeling that I was bad, I was a bad seed, this was not God’s work but the work of the devil.  I felt awful.   I remember being the only one on the block that everyone wanted to play the Ouija board with, I could make the eye move without touching it.  It would move on its own.  I could make doors close and people hurt.   Why?   Why?  Why me?  How could I be so bad, so dark, so ugly.  I remember being afraid to go to church for fear that I would burn inside, after all that was what happened to bad people.  Who could help me?  The only person who could help me was my grandmother, who on her death bed said to me- You are different of the 23 grandkids, You can see.  Why me? I was the oldest of the 5th son.  I was born on the 5th month.  I was 5 when I began to manifest this “curse”.  All of my young life, as a teenager, I was living in fear that I must be in control or else the bad in me might come out.  I did everything I could to hide this thing inside me.  I did not realize that It was a part of me.  What was it that I could make people hurt? Revenge? Anger? Fear?  As an adult, I have come to realize that this “thing” could have consumed me.  It could have ruined my life if I allowed it.  I never realized that people could sense it.  I went to psychics and readers who all told me that I could be the one doing the reading, that I had psychic powers.  I never believed them.  I spent my entire adult life looking and searching for answers, never having faith that I was not given a curse but had been given a gift.  So today, I have come to know that I don’t have a curse but a gift.  I am healing.  I am healing.  I am love.  I have been given the gift of healing others and helping them find their healing.  I am sharing who I am.  I am ready.   After living a life that would make a reality show seen like a cartoon, I am ready to heal, to love and to accept all that I am and all that I have.  Now in the age of Aquarius beautiful things will happen, 2010 is the beginning of a new earth, new world, new love.  May my healing bring all of you to a place of silence, love and understanding.

Namaste,

There are no guarantees as to how long we will live on this earth, there is only hope and faith both of which involve prayer and spirituality, all of which are the essence of our beings.  Our bodies are simply a dwelling that was gifted to us to dwell in during our short time on this earth.

Dear Kathylee,  as you prpare to leave your body in the presence of your good friend, I am glad that you have the dignity of your privacy.  As I ponder the news that you are preparing to leave your body, I find that it is so appropriate in honor of you that your time should come on this “Yoga Day Weekend”.  You lived your life as a yogini and as such you blessed and touched many lives.  I feel very honored and blessed that I was one of those lucky people.

The thought of you preparing to leave your body brings to my heart a sense of wanting.  Wanting to know the feelings, thoughts and emotions you are experiencing as you prepare to leave this finite land we call earth and move into the infinite realm of joy.  The news did not come as a surprise to me, for you had prepared me for this the last time we met.  I am however very sad and I want you to know you will be missed.

Dear kathylee, you and your infinite wisdom will be missed by many. You touched many lives as you gave your life to be a servant of yoga. You gave service to all who wanted, needed or called on you for help.  You touched my life with your vast knowledge, you taught me the meaning of yoga.  As a person you gave me counseling and guidance for me to be able to endure my gift that I thought was a curse.  You showed me the gift I have inside myself. You gave to me the ability to use yoga and find my spirit.  Kathy lee thank you for not judging me and for not letting me give up on myself when I felt my whole world coming to an end.  You made me see past the physical.  You helped me move on the path of knowing the difference between the ego mind and spirituality that guides me.  You helped me to take my gift and offer it to the universe.  I learned from you to be strong, gentle-minded and kind hearted.  You came into my life at one of my lowest points, when I was going through what you termed “human selfishness, greed, fear and corruption of a system that I allowed myself to trust.”    Thank you  for all your understanding, kindness and direction.  I learned how to use the yoga way to help me through.  I have one promise to make to you Kathy lee, I will write the book, I will put it out there as you told me to.  I will do it so that others can learn how to come out of the darkness of their lives as I was able to do.  That is my promise to you.  I dedicate this future book to you Kathy lee, for your clear and loving guidance.  Thank you so much for all you gave to me and to all those others who will miss you dearly.  You will be missed, but you will be remembered.  You were my mentor and my guru, my first introduction to the true essence of Yoga.  I am humbled by your legacy.  Thank you Kathy lee you are a beautiful being and soon you will be a beautiful angel.  Be one with love, light and peace.  Good bye my friend, it is hard to stay behind.  God Bless you in your transition.

Namaste,

Today, I was contemplating this ” I am only one… may I become many”, This is one of the many meanings of “OM”. To be only one, how can I become many? What does this mean? I took this into meditation with me today. As I began to focus, I saw in my minds eye the vision of myself flying over a beautiful mountainous region. High above the sky, I could literally feel myself flying and having wings like an eagle. I soared high in the air and I felt the rush of adrenaline go through my body like the feeling you get from a roller coaster ride on the way down the track. It was at that point that I had to take in a deep breath as if to catch myself from falling. As I looked down into the mountains I could see a deep gully with a meadow beside it, there was plenty of green lush vegetation, flowers were blooming and the wind was blowing gently. The leaves of the highest trees were catching the wind between their branches and whistling sounds came abounding from the trees as if to whisper my name. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my back as my clothes were catching the wind and breeze from my flight. I felt free and alive. Then I heard the murmuring of many voices, although they were soft there was a certain knowing that I felt and I turned to look. What I saw was marvelous! I had a tail of angelic beings traveling behind me,They were connected to me, when they saw me look they smiled at me. Although their lips never moved, I heard their voices loud and clear. They said “We are one. You are many!” Wow, It was an extension of myself in all my images, as I looked more closely I saw all the folks I had ever met in my life, all the ones whom I had grown fond of, all the loves I had had in my lifetime, my childhood friends, my beloved friends whom I thought I had lost, my family members who had left this plane for a better place. We were all there! We were all flying in unison and it was as though I was wearing a long angelic robe with tails of colors that were crystalline blues and pinks. I was in heaven, I must have been for I felt unlike I have ever felt before, a feeling of euphoria came over me and I became overwhelmed with emotion, and although the tears were streaming down my cheeks I was happy, I was fulfilled, I was at peace. I felt love and I was love. I knew then exactly the meaning of OM, this was truly the epitome of being OM.
In my meditation I was only one but I had become many. So as we go through life thinking that we are only one, when we open our hearts and live through love, unselfish in our quest and bringing compassion to all, then, we become many………. all of those souls that have ever touch our life most deeply are always connected to us……… We are many.

May your meditations become so fulfilled as mine. I am blessed, I am love, I am the “OM Diva!”.

Namaste,

Today the calendar says May 31st, 2008.  How this day will remain in my spirit, soul and psyche.  The call came in at 1:15 am.  It was my brother, Marti, he said, DAD DIED!  I remember fighting the fog of my sleep laden state, to get the message I was so dreading.  I  felt every ounce of my physical being fill with adrenalin as my central nervous system was going into the flight or fight mode.  The conversation continued, ” he had a massive heart attack and his heart was too weak, they tried to revive him, after 30 min. they gave up and pronounced it.  DEATH!!!    Through out this whole ordeal, I wanted to believe that perhaps he may pull through, but a little voice inside my soul told me that he had already been living on borrowed time.   I got dressed and went to the hospital to sign the papers.  It was 1:30 AM.  The place was a ghost town.  As I was walking up to the room, I was mentally thinking , I hope that my brother is okay.  GOD you have always made me strong through all the things that I have been through, but I do not know that my brother is as enlightened to the circle of life.   I know that my dad is in a better place.  That his physical body no longer served his purpose here on earth, and that his spirit body was ready to serve the higher purpose.   As we got closer to the room everyone was walking on eggshells, the young nurses knew that there had been a death in the ICU unit, and that we were the victims in this most current transition from life to death.   As we walked by each one of these nurses, I could see it in their eyes that even they were not sure how to handle these types of situations.  They stole their gaze away from my eyes as they took their gaze to the ground.  I wanted to reach out to them and tell them, that all was well and that this was just another path in the circle of life.  We walked into the room and there on the hospital bed lay the body that had once housed my fathers spirit.  I mentally thanked it for the service that it had given  my father during his stay on earth.  Even with all of this knowledge, I am still human and I began to allow my emotions to run.  My brother and I were in a moment of stillness, no-one around, the nurse felt our pain, blessed us both then took a chance as he placed his hands around us.  We all hugged comforting each other through a sorrowful departure of this soul from this physical plane.  Dad,  Thank you for the life you gave me, the love you shared, the good times, the great times and all your life that you so unconditionally gave to all of us.  I am blessed and honored to have been your daughter.  I am who you wanted me to be, I am a product of your love.  You did  the best you knew how and I could not have asked for more.  Thank you, Dad,  Gracias!  Te amo, I love you.  We are content. We are with the angels.

Namaste,