Today is a healing day. As a Reiki master level three with more than 3 certification from three different schools of Reiki, I have come to be able not only to feel energy, but to see energy. This seeing is something I was born with. As a child I remember thinking that I was posessed and that I was a devil child. Why could I seem to do things with my mind that other kids did not. I remember wishing bad things on a person and with my eyes fixed on the person, I would bring the feelings of hurt, destruction and terror to my mind and heart. I would stare at the person with the coldest thoughts and simultaneously thinking the words ” Harm, Hate, Anger and Revenge. My body would begin to heat up and then all of a sudden I would hear the person who was the object of this energy, scream stop it, stop it! Those words would break my concentration and before I knew it I was in total shock by the tears and fear I saw in that persons eyes. I would ask “What happened?” not conciously knowing the harm I was causing or that I was the one causing this harm with my thoughts, emotions and feelings. Then all of a sudden I would get this overwhelming feeling that I was bad, I was a bad seed, this was not God’s work but the work of the devil. I felt awful. I remember being the only one on the block that everyone wanted to play the Ouija board with, I could make the eye move without touching it. It would move on its own. I could make doors close and people hurt. Why? Why? Why me? How could I be so bad, so dark, so ugly. I remember being afraid to go to church for fear that I would burn inside, after all that was what happened to bad people. Who could help me? The only person who could help me was my grandmother, who on her death bed said to me- You are different of the 23 grandkids, You can see. Why me? I was the oldest of the 5th son. I was born on the 5th month. I was 5 when I began to manifest this “curse”. All of my young life, as a teenager, I was living in fear that I must be in control or else the bad in me might come out. I did everything I could to hide this thing inside me. I did not realize that It was a part of me. What was it that I could make people hurt? Revenge? Anger? Fear? As an adult, I have come to realize that this “thing” could have consumed me. It could have ruined my life if I allowed it. I never realized that people could sense it. I went to psychics and readers who all told me that I could be the one doing the reading, that I had psychic powers. I never believed them. I spent my entire adult life looking and searching for answers, never having faith that I was not given a curse but had been given a gift. So today, I have come to know that I don’t have a curse but a gift. I am healing. I am healing. I am love. I have been given the gift of healing others and helping them find their healing. I am sharing who I am. I am ready. After living a life that would make a reality show seen like a cartoon, I am ready to heal, to love and to accept all that I am and all that I have. Now in the age of Aquarius beautiful things will happen, 2010 is the beginning of a new earth, new world, new love. May my healing bring all of you to a place of silence, love and understanding.
Namaste,